The truth about girls...
I really need to write this down as it has been on my mind for the past several years. Anyone who's been around me recently has heard their fair share of this spiel from me.
I have four children and they are all girls, and I think most people will be shocked, or maybe not, to hear me say that I absolutely love having all girls. A little background...when Dave and I started getting serious I started to be a tiny bit concerned about us having all boys because he comes from a family of 8 boys and 2 girls. I don't think boys are bad and I would be happy to have a boy, but I grew up with 4 sisters and 3 brothers, so there were 5 of us girls and I LOVED it. Because of that I wanted to have several girls. So when I was expecting Alison (my oldest) I wanted her to be a girl, no real reason except that I wanted a baby girl, I always had. Then when I was expecting Ana (my second) only 2 short years later I wanted her to be a girl so they could be best little friends. Then while I was expecting Molly I wasn't necessarily hoping for a boy, (I mean a boy would have been great) but I just assumed that it would be. It just seemed like it was time for a boy after 2 girls. My pregnancy was a bit different, or so I thought, and so I kind of thought it was a boy because of that. I thought that up until the night before the ultrasound. That night Dave looked at me and said, "What if that's our little Molly in there?" and I suddenly remembered a few experiences I had at the beginning of the pregnancy that made me almost sure it was a girl that I had somehow forgotten over the past 4 months, but it made so much sense. Sure enough we found out the next day that it was a girl and it was almost an "of course that's our little girl" experience for us. Then with Charlotte, I just thought, "for sure it's got to be a boy this time, I mean what are the odds of having 4 girls right?" The day we found out she was a girl, we weren't disappointed at all, but it was definitely a shock. Not because we were having another girl, but it was when both of us realized that we were probably never going to have a boy and that we were going to be an all girl family. It only took a few moments to change our mind set and as soon as we did we snapped out of any dazed, shocked sensation we were feeling and we embraced the all girl thing. In fact, up to this point we had never bought things that can be used by more than one baby, gender specific. But with Charlotte we started buying everything pink. We got a pink carseat, a pink bike, a girly baby sling, etc. And we've just been loving the all girl thing we have going on. Might I add, for the record, Dave has never once been disappointed when he's found out he was having another baby girl and I love that about him.
Apparently not everyone shares the same enthusiasm for an all girl family, and I am quite surprised at how many people feel the need to express to us their opinions about it. We have heard every comment imaginable from friends, family, acquaintances and even, in fact, especially from random strangers.
The most common comment is, "Oh, your poor husband." I've never once felt sorry for Dave nor he felt sorry for himself, because in many cases daughters tend to stay a little closer to their parents when they are grown and out of the house than sons do. (I know this isn't always the case, but generally speaking)
Another popular comment is, "You better start saving now for all those weddings." I don't actually take a ton of offense from this one. Those are kind of just the facts, with 4 girls, our wedding budget does need to be pretty substantial and it's actually wise counsel to start saving for it now.
Another one is, "Just wait until they are teenagers" or "Wow, that's going to be a lot of drama". This comment just annoys me more than anything. I was, in fact, a teenage girl and I'm pretty sure I have some idea of what to expect from a teenage girl.
And some times people go so far as to tell us how sorry they feel for us, or ask us if we are going to keep trying until we get a boy. That one really gets me going, as if all of my other children were failed attempts at building the perfect family. One person, who I'm barely friends with on facebook, (which I'm never on, and so it never has updated information about me) found out somehow that I was having my 4th girl and suggested that I buy a book that explains a method that can help you choose the gender of your baby. I was completely taken back by that comment for several reasons: 1. I hardly know this person 2. this person has absolutely no idea if I'm upset or discouraged about having all girls and 3. because I strongly believe that the children that come to me are supposed to be mine and it's not a power that I possess to choose the gender of my baby.
My all time favorite and the most inappropriate comment I've ever heard though was from a lady in my neighborhood. This was the very first time I met her as we were new to the neighborhood. First completely unrelated, she said in a very condescending tone, "so, your husband is a dentist?" I confirmed that he was and she said, in the same tone, "ugh, there are so many dentists here". Then she looked over at Dave who was holding our tiny baby Charlotte and saw the other 3 girls running around and said, again in a very awful tone, pointing at Dave with Lottie, "And that's a girl too?" After I confirmed that it was, in fact, another girl she looked at me and said, "ugh, how are you going to buy all of those tampons?" Are you kidding me?!?! I was shocked and had no idea what to say at that moment except to laugh it off. I wish I would have said something like, 'well, it's a good thing my husband is a dentist, right' or 'I'll have to buy them at Costco' or something silly like that.
The most common comment is, "Oh, your poor husband." I've never once felt sorry for Dave nor he felt sorry for himself, because in many cases daughters tend to stay a little closer to their parents when they are grown and out of the house than sons do. (I know this isn't always the case, but generally speaking)
Another popular comment is, "You better start saving now for all those weddings." I don't actually take a ton of offense from this one. Those are kind of just the facts, with 4 girls, our wedding budget does need to be pretty substantial and it's actually wise counsel to start saving for it now.
Another one is, "Just wait until they are teenagers" or "Wow, that's going to be a lot of drama". This comment just annoys me more than anything. I was, in fact, a teenage girl and I'm pretty sure I have some idea of what to expect from a teenage girl.
And some times people go so far as to tell us how sorry they feel for us, or ask us if we are going to keep trying until we get a boy. That one really gets me going, as if all of my other children were failed attempts at building the perfect family. One person, who I'm barely friends with on facebook, (which I'm never on, and so it never has updated information about me) found out somehow that I was having my 4th girl and suggested that I buy a book that explains a method that can help you choose the gender of your baby. I was completely taken back by that comment for several reasons: 1. I hardly know this person 2. this person has absolutely no idea if I'm upset or discouraged about having all girls and 3. because I strongly believe that the children that come to me are supposed to be mine and it's not a power that I possess to choose the gender of my baby.
My all time favorite and the most inappropriate comment I've ever heard though was from a lady in my neighborhood. This was the very first time I met her as we were new to the neighborhood. First completely unrelated, she said in a very condescending tone, "so, your husband is a dentist?" I confirmed that he was and she said, in the same tone, "ugh, there are so many dentists here". Then she looked over at Dave who was holding our tiny baby Charlotte and saw the other 3 girls running around and said, again in a very awful tone, pointing at Dave with Lottie, "And that's a girl too?" After I confirmed that it was, in fact, another girl she looked at me and said, "ugh, how are you going to buy all of those tampons?" Are you kidding me?!?! I was shocked and had no idea what to say at that moment except to laugh it off. I wish I would have said something like, 'well, it's a good thing my husband is a dentist, right' or 'I'll have to buy them at Costco' or something silly like that.
After hearing comments like this over and over and over again for several years it has really got me thinking (and incredibly fired up) about girls and all that they are, myself being one, and I have come to some conclusions. All growing up and even still today I've been about as girly as they come. Meaning I like girly things, I'm dramatic, I'm emotional, I'm passionate and intense and I'm high maintenance and high strung. Ever since I can remember all I've ever been lead to believe is that all of these are less than desirable personality traits. I found myself often wishing I was more easy going, less emotional, more into less girly things, like sports & camping etc. Even as an adult I found myself feeling like I had to defend my interests in scrapbooking, cooking, decorating, organization, crafting, and so on. Which are all obviously pretty typical girly things to be interested in. Over time, as I've examined the negativity that surrounds my "all girl" family, and the negativity I've experienced with my own personality as a girl I've come to really accept and appreciate and become incredibly grateful for all the "girly" traits that make up who I am and who my girls might be some day.
I'll be the first to admit that it is incredibly difficult to deal with an emotional girl, whether it's myself being emotional or my girls or anyone else. Especially the kind of emotions that accompany being a girl. They are unpredictable, and often irrational and it's just a tricky thing to understand. But I don't wish I weren't an emotional person because that is what makes me sensitive to other people and their feelings. It is part of what makes me genuinely care about other people and plays a huge role in how I treat other people. And I'll be the first to admit that, sure I make mistakes and I'm certain I've hurt other people's feelings in my life, but as a general rule I feel like I am a very sincere, genuine and kind person that cares about making other people happy. And I don't think that can be considered a bad thing in anyone's book.
I can also recognize that the intensity and passionate personality of girls can be draining and exhausting to keep up with. But again, I think there is a lot of good that can come from having the drive and passion that sometimes only a girl can have. If they are passionate about and driven by good things than it can easily turn into determination and often girls stubbornness will not let anything get in the way of them accomplishing or achieving something they have put their mind to. Using an example from my own life, in high school I was not going to let anything at all get in the way of me getting straight A's. I don't necessarily feel like I was blessed with a natural love of learning or retention of knowledge. My brain was just not built like my husband's, for example, who just soaks up almost all the information he ever lays his eyes or ears on. (I dare you to play any type of trivia game with him) So my success with my grades in my younger years was 100 percent a result from my hard work and determination. In comparison, you take someone like my husband, who could have done excellently in high school, but he just didn't care, it wasn't a priority and so he didn't. (Understand, I am not throwing him under the bus in anyway, I think he is incredibly smart, obviously, getting to and through dental school is no small feat and he did it excellently. And he is an incredibly hard worker and works tirelessly to ensure the success of his dental practice for his family.)
I could go on and on about this, but this is probably decent enough coverage of the matter. And the reason I share it now is because we are expecting our fifth baby and we are assuming it will be a girl and we are quite excited about it. So before the news gets out about this pregnancy, and the possibility of us having 5 girls unleashes more unwanted comments, I wanted to get my own two cents out there since everyone will share theirs with me.
I'll be the first to admit that it is incredibly difficult to deal with an emotional girl, whether it's myself being emotional or my girls or anyone else. Especially the kind of emotions that accompany being a girl. They are unpredictable, and often irrational and it's just a tricky thing to understand. But I don't wish I weren't an emotional person because that is what makes me sensitive to other people and their feelings. It is part of what makes me genuinely care about other people and plays a huge role in how I treat other people. And I'll be the first to admit that, sure I make mistakes and I'm certain I've hurt other people's feelings in my life, but as a general rule I feel like I am a very sincere, genuine and kind person that cares about making other people happy. And I don't think that can be considered a bad thing in anyone's book.
I can also recognize that the intensity and passionate personality of girls can be draining and exhausting to keep up with. But again, I think there is a lot of good that can come from having the drive and passion that sometimes only a girl can have. If they are passionate about and driven by good things than it can easily turn into determination and often girls stubbornness will not let anything get in the way of them accomplishing or achieving something they have put their mind to. Using an example from my own life, in high school I was not going to let anything at all get in the way of me getting straight A's. I don't necessarily feel like I was blessed with a natural love of learning or retention of knowledge. My brain was just not built like my husband's, for example, who just soaks up almost all the information he ever lays his eyes or ears on. (I dare you to play any type of trivia game with him) So my success with my grades in my younger years was 100 percent a result from my hard work and determination. In comparison, you take someone like my husband, who could have done excellently in high school, but he just didn't care, it wasn't a priority and so he didn't. (Understand, I am not throwing him under the bus in anyway, I think he is incredibly smart, obviously, getting to and through dental school is no small feat and he did it excellently. And he is an incredibly hard worker and works tirelessly to ensure the success of his dental practice for his family.)
I could go on and on about this, but this is probably decent enough coverage of the matter. And the reason I share it now is because we are expecting our fifth baby and we are assuming it will be a girl and we are quite excited about it. So before the news gets out about this pregnancy, and the possibility of us having 5 girls unleashes more unwanted comments, I wanted to get my own two cents out there since everyone will share theirs with me.
